A friend of mine came of his motorcycle yesterday, was flown by helicopter to hospital. He is, fortunately, just a little bruised and battered.
My initial reaction to hearing of his accident made me sick to my toes. It brought back two memories. Both involving the rescue helicopter service.
I will start with the first as it ties in with the second.
I was childless at this point in my life and living in my parents house with my boyfriend as they had moved away for some time. He also had a house that was being rented to holiday goers. We decided that it was time to move back to his place, consequently leaving my parents making the decision of renting out there place. So began the massive clean up and pack up of there 4 bedroom, overly furnished, house.
There was a telephone system adapted into the house courtesy of my gadget/electronic/IT obsessed brother Billy. without elaborating, it was a very intricate system that only he could disable.
So the scene is as follows:
Dad is at the house packing up everything. Mum is 6 hours away in their new home as she has to work. Billy is to travel up and stay with dad at the house and fix the phones.
That day and evening I had been at the house helping dad pack, once I was home I was also receiving calls asking what could/couldn't be thrown out. I last spoke with dad around 9:30pm and Billy was due at the house around 11:30PM.
Funnily enough, we all had phone calls that afternoon from Billy which is not something that is a regular thing for he and I. However brief our conversation was, it was a nice one.
In bed fast asleep, my phone rang around 1am/ish. It was dad. I was thinking to myself, oh he's rung to ask about something and has no idea what the time is, thanks a lot dad!!!
To say my tone upon answering was abrupt, may be kind. The response I received from my father was the last thing i'd ever expected in my life.
A sullen yet anxious voice blurted down the line to me saying, "Billys been in an accident, we don't know whether he's going to live or die!"
Now let me interject for a moment and explain my father to you before you criticise his tactless demeanour. He is tactless! But in a way that isn't intentional. He has Tourrette Syndrome, he is also a very matter of fact person. A spades a spade with him. He doesn't get upset or angry easily, he is a calm person with the kindest of hearts I've ever met. He just doesn't deal well with expressing emotions to people, particularly in situations such as these. I remember when my aunt suddenly passed away unexpectedly. he was minding my kids. I received a phone call and his words were. "the kids are okay but Judi is dead". I laugh now and so does he at his pure misconception of his manner. But this is my dad and thats the way he is.
So my first reaction to his words were obviously disbelief and after he repeated himself once or twice the impact of his words suddenly set in. He was going to pick me up from my place and we were to drive the 3 hours it took to get to the hospital Billy had been air lifted to.
As I hung up the phone, I tried to vomit, then I cried. My partner at this stage was awake with me and helping me to pack a bag. What do I pack? How long will I be there? Will he even be alive when we arrive? Holly crap, he might die. Again, try to vomit. Unsuccessful. I light a cigarette whilst I wait for dad. I'm pretty sure I'm now in shock. I know as soon as dad arrives i'll be fine as I am really great at being the strong one. The rock so to speak. Our family doesn't do weak and teary, never have. We band together and get on with things and help each other when one of a falls. Well Billy had fallen, Hard.
Once dad picked me up and we set off on our miserable journey praying that at no moment would that stupid phone ring, for if it stayed silent, then Billy was still alive. Dad explained what had happened to me as we drove down the empty dark highway. keeping our mouths talking meant our minds were busy and we weren't thinking the worst.
Dad had packed most of the house by that evening and he decided to have a rest on the couch whilst waiting for Billy. A knock at the door aroused him from his slumber, expecting Billy he was instead confused to find the police at the door. His heart sank immediately for police don't turn up at 12:30 at night bearing good news right?!
The police sat my father down and explained that Billy had been involved in a car accident. He was proceeding up the highway and coming around a bend, a huge tire from a dog trailer (on a truck) had come loose and was laying in the centre on the lane he was travelling in. The speed on the highway was 110 km/ph. As he saw the tire at the very last moment he tried to swerve around it but was unable to and clipped the edge of the tire. this sent his car into a roll around 5 or so times, the car proceeded to slide on its roof for some distance. There were cars travelling close by who stopped and attended the scene until emergency services could arrive. His head was smashed open and he was bleeding profusely. unconscious and unresponsive. At this stage all we knew was he had been airlifted to a major rural hospital with a very good neurology wing. Whilst we were traveling to him they were in surgery doing what they could to stop the bleeding.
All the while this was going on, my mother was stuck where she was till she could get the first flight to us which wouldn't leave till 6am. I am unaware of how she was able to sit and wait the way she did, alone, with little knowledge of how Billy was. Now being a mother myself I have even less of an idea how she managed to not loose control.
Finally after 3 hours (which felt like 10) we arrived at the hospital. We were directed to the ICU (Intensive care Unit). We were able to go straight to Billy. He had survived surgery and was still in a coma. His head was bandaged and he lay flat. He had plenty of tubes and wires attached as you can imagine. It was like a scene from a bad movie, only it wasn't a movie, it was my brother and he was in real trouble.
We spoke to the doctors and they confirmed that he had suffered some serious brain trauma not only from the gouges on his head but also from his head being thrown around in the accident. I would like to point out at this stage as I feel it is the most important part of his survival… HE WAS WEARING HIS SEATBELT AND IT SAVED HIS LIFE!!!!!
The doctors had drained what blood they could from his brain and removed the glass and fragments of his skull. There was little more they could do at this stage except wait. The brain was swollen, his body was beaten and bruised and covered in minor scratches and cuts. He was in a coma and had a machine breathing for him.
By morning, my uncle and aunt had arrived and were with dad and I. Sitting in that ICU room by Billys side was not only agonising but painful. If you ignored the bandaged head and breathing apparatus, the tubes and beeping machines, he looked peaceful. Sleeping and content. But it couldn't be ignored could it.
By 8am or there a bouts my mum had arrived. this sounds ridiculous to say, but after being there with Billy for some time now, my father and I had already become accustom to the situation. Or so we thought. As mum arrived, it all sank in again fresh as knew. A parent, seeing there child helpless and fighting for his life, my parent, in tears and unable to do anything to protect her child, my brother.
As I said before. All we could do at this stage was sit around and wait. Take our turns being by his side and hoping he knew that we were there. Something I won't get into at this stage as it sparks a whole new debate and its off topic to my story at this point. Are people aware whilst in a coma? Are they with us or has their soul/spirit/conscious self (whatever you wish to call it) retreated from the body allowing it to rest? Perhaps I will revisit this in another blog or perhaps I won't.
Over the next 24 hours after discussions with doctors, police and witnesses, the story unfolded a little more with for us, a sign that gave us a little hope without realising at the time.
So, the accident as I described earlier is still accurate, what we hadn't been aware of at the time was the events immediately following the crash.
As the car came to a halt, on its roof. The drivers of the other cars stopped and immediately raced over in effort to help. The driver of lets say the first car behind Billy, happened to be a doctor. An airways specialist. As I said earlier, Billy was unconscious and bleeding profusely. This doctor was able to control the bleeding from his head by pulsing a main artery at his neck. This slowed the flow of blood yet at the same time, kept him alive.
Whilst the doc was doing this, driver of car number 2 was also by his side. Her partner worked at the hospital Billy would be flown to, in the emergency department. She jumped straight on the phone to him and between them they arranged for the Helicopter to attend the scene as well as ambulance crew. She stayed on the line by the doctors side until the emergency crews arrived.
The third driver, was a middle aged women. She had no partner to call that would be of assistance. She was not a doctor or anything that would be of any use medically. She did what a lot of people wouldn't, or couldn't do. She sat by Billy and held his hand. She spoke to him as if he were awake and could hear her. She didn't let go off him until he was moved to the helicopter. Initially she was told by other onlookers not to go near the car. The guy inside was a mess and surely was dead. She to her credit, did not care and went over anyway. The paramedics had said to her at one point, he is in a coma, He cannot hear you or feel you holding his hand. This again did not deter her.
I'm not sure if I believe in angles, I am sure that I was overwhelmed with happy sadness that he wasn't alone in all the pain and confusion. There was someone with him for no other reason than to make sure he was not alone.
Still to this day I do not know who this women is and am unaware of her name. I think life has a funny way of giving back to the people that deserve it and I'm sure she has walked away from this selfless act, taking from the situation only something she will ever understand.
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