I will refer to this as my sons Poo Stage.
Why because that's exactly what it was. A stage where it was all about poo.
He's a sensitive little dude. He is your typical boy. He would bash and bang toys no matter what they were, his sisters would dress him up like a princess and he would roar like a lion in a pretty sequin pink ensemble.
The first time the POO occurred, I put it down to age and intrigue. I think most parents have a story of at least one of their children paying with poo. This became a infatuation with my dude.
I would smell it first. Now lets just explore this for a moment. You know how you can smell dog poo if someone has stepped in it?, it has a distinct odour, not a pleasurable experience at all. Now think about baby/toddler poo. It's also a distinct smell. One of horrifying magnitudes at times.
With that smell in mind, once it's detected it cannot be ignored, nor should it.
Finding the source of the smell is usually quite simple it is a protruding nappy which has rudely interrupted your morning coffee. Usually a simple fix of changing it, disposing of it and move on with your day. My dude, although toilet training, didn't feel it was appropriate to just poo in his nappy and either take it off or cruise around till it was changed.
wait for it…. He decided, god knows why, to SMEAR the poo up and down his legs and his arms.
I will let that last sentence sink it for a moment, focus on the word SMEAR and arms and legs.
Dry reaching was definitely unavoidable at this point. The first time this happened I had that moment of What the F do I do now. I was quite astounded that he wasn't fazed by the situation. In fact he was smiling. again, What the actual F???
Okay so the only conceivable thing to do was to dump him straight in the shower. Once he was "de pooed", I would then set to work on the carpet, he was quite a messy poo artist so he did get it everywhere.
I calmly explained all the reasons to him why this was not a smart idea with strong emphasis on the fact it will possibly make him very sick.
The next time it happened, he was caught mid smear behind the couch. he had pooed on the carpet then proceeded to pick it up and begin the big poo paint. kill me NOW!!!
It started to become a regular thing. I couldn't understand how he was okay with the smell or the texture. I can only think it must be like smearing peanut butter all over your arms and legs. it was just as hard to wash off, I needed to rub it off in the shower. Tears forming from the sight and smell and from the utter gravity of what my boy was doing was not normal.
We started seeing a child psychologist. He was somewhat alarmed at these happenings also yet seemed to find it (although at the extreme end of the scale) quite a obvious reaction to his environment. It was about a tactile sensation that he could control. He couldn't control where he went what the rules of life were or his emotions, yet he could control his poo and where it was placed. Good one son!
At this point I distinctly remember saying can't he have some form of tidy OCD or an obsession with trucks like most boys? Poo! it had to be Poo!!!
Eventually he stopped doing this. I can't say I didn't try loads of different things to deter this behaviour however I'm pretty sure he just got over it on his own. That was a by far one of my lowest points of being a single mum so far.
Poo, why did it have to be poo, seriously!
As a side note, first time, second time, anytime parents, please don't be deterred from having kids by this story. It was horrifyingly yuk! But, it was a phase, granted not a widely popular one of toddlers but it was what it was. He is now 5, at school, brilliantly minded! socially confident and above all and most importantly, no longer plays with poo! kids are weird! but we love them anyhow right!
poo! bloody poooooo!
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